Be the Conductor of Your Own Crazy Train

Anyone else feel like a mish-mash of crazy most of the time? I do! I’m usually ok with it. And the people closest to me know what kind of crazy I can be.

But sometimes. SOMETIMES.


Sometimes I feel like the crazy train won’t even stop to pick me up because I’m riding some kind of next-level crazy wave.

Sometimes I feel like bringing my bed sheet to my husband and asking him to wrap me up in it like a strait-jacket because I am obviously a threat to myself.

It’s not just me.

The truth is I know I’m not alone here. We all throw our hands up in frustration thinking “what the heck is wrong with me?!?!” occasionally.

But your actions that follow that thought are what really matter.

We’re all going to go a little nuts. But what do you do about it? Do you ignore it? Try and figure it out? Do you let it frustrate you even more?

Do something about it.

I was 24 when I saw a counselor for the first time. I was with my ex-husband and we were (obviously) having issues.

I’ve always loved psychology and studying why people behave the way they do. It’s actually amazing to me I went 24 years without seeing a counselor, if nothing else, just out of curiosity.

I learned an incredible amount about myself, the way I think, operate, and function during those few months. It was an invaluable time in my life.

Since then, I’ve had an above-average ability to get to the root of almost anything that is bothering me. And that allows me to work on the actual problem instead of just the symptoms. (I am still all kinds of crazy, though, just btw.)

I still feel crazy.

Sometimes, even though you know what is the at the bottom of your latest soap-opera-crazy episode, you’re still going to feel like a lunatic.

In those moments, it’s almost always because you need to articulate to someone your thought process from start to finish.

I know my crazy. I know what sets me off. I know what I have to do to get back on track.

But funny enough, not everyone else has read the Operation Manual for Rachel Mayo. And the times I feel the most lost are when other people stare at me with a glazed look in their eye like “I have zero clues as to what to do with you right now.”

Well. There is a solution.

Tell them.

I know i know i know. Way easier said than done. But hey, I’ll help you. To be able to do this there are two important things you need to know about yourself.

1. Do you process immediately or do you take some time?

I take time to process. If I get in an argument, or if something makes me angry or upset, I have to take time to think about why I’m feeling whatever emotion at the time. I can’t tell you immediately. And as a matter of fact, if I’m mad, and you want me to talk about it right then, chances are I’m going to say something I will end up regretting later.

2. Are you a verbal processor or a written processor?

It’s hard for me to verbally articulate my thoughts and feelings without writing them down first. Some people would much rather talk things through. Figure out the best way for you to organize your thoughts.

There are a ton of things you need to know about yourself, but these 2 have been the most helpful for me in every day situations.

I’m not a counselor by any stretch of the imagination. But what I do know, is that when I get derailed, figuring out the actual cause is imperative to moving forward. And if someone else is involved, being able to clearly express a thought process is extremely helpful for me (even if they don’t particularly care.)

I’ll end with this.

Going to see a counselor is not a bad thing. Trying to learn more about yourself is not a bad thing. Acquiring the tools you need to navigate life is not a bad thing.

Think of how much better we could all communicate if we would go learn about ourselves every once in a while! Think about how much better we could love! Work! Accomplish!

At the end of the day I just want us all to have a little more empathy for one another. And being more in tune with yourself is a great way to start.



Part southern belle, part hipster, all kinds of sassy.

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